His routine concluded with his hypothesizing that since women were “crazy,” they needed a good man to be the objective reasonable one in the relationship.
The implication here was that women were damsels in distress and overly emotional beings that had no control over their faculties. “You gotta man up because girls need you to take care of them.”Unbeknownst to me, there were several girls who had feelings for me those junior high years, but I ignored them because they didn’t align with the narratives that I’d internalized. She repeatedly told me that she didn’t care about my lack of masculinity, but it was her word against all of my friends’.
There are plenty of people of all genders who struggle with self-discovery and love at a young age.I’ve found that most people who claim to want a kindhearted and decent person actually do mean what they’re saying, but it’s a proclamation done with hopefulness: Their hopes are that one day, they’ll get to the point in their lives where they’ll be accepting of that love.It took my aforementioned female friend several years to stop her infatuation over her ex-boyfriend.Years later, in her late twenties, she started getting her life together, found herself a nice career, built confidence, and began seeking someone deserving of her love.I would’ve learned to trust my own instincts and realized that my initial reactions to these toxic ideas was the right response, which was that controlling another woman, or trying to control any other human being, was wrong and menacing.
The thought process was that women are always dealing with men who are “pussies,” so when a cocky guy comes along, it’s a welcome surprise.
Dismantling these old ideas was extraordinarily difficult since I had been indoctrinated with them at such a young age, but I realize now that the people bestowing these ideas were going off false information provided to them by the misogynistic society we live in.
Robin Tran is a standup comedian and blogger, and she holds a BA in English from UC Irvine.
In early 2015, Robin came out as transgender woman and has written about her firsthand experiences ever since.
She has performed at the Improv, Mad House Comedy Club, and the Comedy Palace, and her articles have been published in xo Jane and
And I hope I can help anyone holding onto these beliefs understand how misguided they are.